Calgary time to race, *warning* this is a long post.

So tomorrow the last races for this season will begin. Friday 500, Saturday 1000, Sunday 500&1000 and finally on Monday 1500.

Today I did a race preparation, just easy laps, few accelerations and a start.

To be honest, I don't feel good. I don't feel confident to race. Last weekend was really hard. The last two months have been mentally challenging. And I really feel like all my energy has been drained out.

One could think that saying that out loud here would make things only worse. But an athlete as a normal human, is never just a physical being. We are emotional animals and writing that here is just me accepting the facts. "I'm not mentally prepared to race. I can't make any good times." But then seeing it out here makes me understand how small matter it really is and how easily I'm able to leave it and get back up on the track. Seeing that, tells me how pathetic it would be to try going on the line tomorrow. Knowing that I'm mentally a lot tougher than that.
Thoughts like that are the inner devil we all have. The force that tries to put us down, the only thing in the way of perfect harmony between the mind, and the body.
And the body will always do what the mind says.

So by saying it out loud, I actually create a turning point for myself to place my feet where I usually stand mentally, and stand there really firmly. Just knowing that I have what it takes to do better than ever before. Knowing that this challenge is something I made by myself and something only I can survive.
I'm already beginning to feel better and I know that after warm up tomorrow I will be ready to challenge my times here from last year. Since even if I've trained harder and I can't feel anything I can still do better than last year because none of those races last year was perfect. I've come a long way, and now it is time to enjoy if I could already pick some crop from all the hard work that I've done.

I hope you had the time to read this. Stay tuned for the results!!